Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
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if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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