just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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