1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
