Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
