i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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