Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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