You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
