If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
