Michael Bay diarrhea
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize