I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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