perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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