Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
