We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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