it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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