we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
