Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
oh god the rape fog is back!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
