Im at strip club and am horny
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
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Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
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You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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