everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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