dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
50% drunk capacity currently
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
