I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
