she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
