She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
