your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
