just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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