Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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