I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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