I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
