worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
this will be a night to untag.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
