you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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