some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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