If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize