I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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