I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
