Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
