So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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