hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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