I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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