So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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