he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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