singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
