this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Thank you for not boning my boss.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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