That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
