I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
