walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
