In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
