I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
