The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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