You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
