I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
