Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
