I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
