hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
