Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
