Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm lost and stupid without you.

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.

(519): View more from Ontario

If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.

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(360): View more from Washington

Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"

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(360): View more from Washington

I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.

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(586): View more from Michigan

The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman

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(319): View more from Iowa

Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?

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(416): View more from Toronto

So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.

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(917): View more from New York City

Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?

(201): View more from New Jersey

Or???

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