Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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