no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
