Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
