U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This house was built for laser tag.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
