Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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