taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
