i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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