her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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