I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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