Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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