I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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