You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
