I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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